no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Randomize
