Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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