belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
