I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
