Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
