I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
