should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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