he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
