So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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