You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
