**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
