I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
