What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
