plz talk dirty to me
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
