hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
