can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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