Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She is in my trunk
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
