This girl is more easily done than said...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize