I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
This is the high leading the old right now
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
