i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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