Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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