He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
