Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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