i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
