I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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