3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
