Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
