Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
