Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So much rum. So many feels.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
