i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
