I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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