I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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