did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
