I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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