I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
splinters make it hard to masturbate
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
When are your genitals available?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
