omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
