How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
