dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
