i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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