Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
