It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
