I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
