i will never coherently bang her
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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