Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
