And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
