My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
