my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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