He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
