Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
