he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
