I need help removing her.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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