I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Drunk is not a location!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
