Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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