My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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