All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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