i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
