Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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